Part 2 of our buddy interviews with Michael and Sheri, who connected on GetMotivatedBuddies.
Sheri is working on her PhD in Human Rights in Tehran, Iran, and she matched with Michael M, in Texas, who’s working on an advanced mental health degree.
First Name: Sheri K.
Timezone: MET (Middle Eastern Time)
Describe yourself primarily as: Student
Educational level: Master’s Program
What area you’d like to improve: Studying
Habit to focus on: Applying for a university
Studying Goal : Studying hard for IELTS exam & my university courses + put away my fears & start applying for masters abroad and/or PhD
Greatest weakness: I know I can but I have a great fear of what may happen after reaching my goal 🙈Greatest strength: I love studying & I know where exactly I want to be
How often would you like to be in contact: Multiple days per week
Preferred mode of contact: SMS, Email, Phone, In Person, Whatsapp,
Anything else you’d like your buddy to know: I’m studying Human Rights & want to continue for Peace Studies as in PhD … I love my match to have faith in people, love & peace … I love travelling & volunteer work for refugees … I have a MA in directory & wanna make movies around the world to show people what is war doing to us … so I’m gonna spread Love, happyness & peace & teach human rights in a simple way with my documentaries & movies … 🌍♥️🕊
Where are you located?
What are you working on, and why is it important to you?
I have restarted my studies after about 8 years; studying masters of International Human Rights Law and want to continue for Peace Studies as in Ph.D.
It is so important for me because of many reasons. First of all I have a non-law background so studying this major and aligning me with others won’t be easy, and I have big goals which make me try harder and go forward against all the obstacles in the way.
I live in a country which needs Peace, also I think this is what the entire world needs right now so I want to learn more and spread this concept. I have an MA in Movie/Theater Directing and this is my dream to make movies and documentaries with which I can help people learn more and more about Human Rights and Peace. For that I need to learn first.
It is important because it was my childhood dream and after all these years living a hard life I don’t want to forget about it again and push it back to live a routine life. I want to change things and it takes a lot of effort.
The term “accountability partner” isn’t commonly used. Where did you first hear about it, (or did you even hear it) and what made you think it might be a good idea for you?
Actually one day I was complaining about myself having this much work to do but sometimes I have no plan to stick to it or I need someone to push me. My cousin was listening to me nagging about all these, she said there might be people who have the same goals as you, and you can find someone like that. Then she started searching related terms. So actually it was my cousin who came up with the idea! I just knew that I need some energy, more than mine and outside of me to makes me keep going and not to forget about my goals while I am facing difficulties.
What had you been trying before that wasn’t working?
Actually I had tried something like this before with one of my friends. We had the same goal to study for IELTS exam so I tried to schedule us a curriculum to study together although she lives in another country, but it didn’t work because she didn’t want to stick to a plan and I had lots to do by that time so I had a cold feet to.
I used to write To Do Lists and lose them before even starting and also had tried a lot of different ways which many others may have tried but none worked for me because when I felt like leaving all behind and go for fun, there were no forces to make me sit back and continue fetching my future.
Once you decided that finding someone to work with might be helpful where did you go? What was your plan to find someone?
I knew it would be way better if you have someone with the same goals to keep up. I asked many friends as I said before in the other question but it didn’t work. Some people are not committed to their plans and when you start with them is like getting on and off every now and then.
I really didn’t think that such thing as your website may exist so I was just trying people around me.
Did you have a plan in mind of how you would work with the person? Did you imagine the perfect scenario of a relationship?
You mean with my Motivation Buddy? Let’s say I was thinking of some plans but I knew that it is something as we should decide for that two-sided. And Michael, my buddy whom I work with now he was really open to give suggestions and also hear about mine. So I should say we came up with a plan together and before finding one we tried something else.
It made me think that I am not alone in this and that he may understand what I’m going through.
Once you joined GetMotivatedBuddies how long did it take you to match with one another, and what made you decide to accept this buddy?
I had 3 other matches before Michael but none get anywhere, the very first one we just exchanged 2 or 3 emails and he didn’t answer my last. The third one accepted the suggestion of being each other’s buddy but didn’t even respond to the first email. I don’t remember how much it took me to find my buddy, I think maybe 5, 6 months (I actually should check the date of my registration in the website) but all it took it was worth it now.
I accepted this buddy of mine because I saw on his profile that he has restarted his studies after a long time too, like me, and again like me he had changed his major completely. We share the same goals but in different directions. It made me think that I am not alone in this and that he may understand what I’m going through. He had a lucid profile which talked about his goals and what is he doing and what does he want, so I thought this one may be different, and he was!
Once you matched what happened? How did you move forward? Did you set up a system?
What kind of conversation did you have?
We sent each other emails and introduced ourselves then we talked about what platforms are we ok to use. Because we had chosen Whatsapp, both, in our profiles, we exchanged numbers and he made a group back there so now we are doing it together. We talked more about things we are up to and now we report each other what we have done all day and every now and then we check on each other’s plans to be supportive.
Before that, Michael made us a google sheet to report everyday plans on that but this plan is better I think. The one that we are doing now, because it is more alive and for me it works better when you feel there is actually someone back there who cares and also is in the same path as you. The sheet was good but was mechanical a bit. As I said talking is more alive, although we have never met each other and I think we will not be able to.
As you started to work together did you find you needed to change anything?
How do you primarily communicate and how often?
We used to report to each other every night! But life someone gets a bit tough and you can’t continue the exact thing you wanted to. Now it is not like reporting every night but there wasn’t two nights in a row that we had no news about each other.
Do you feel the buddy partnership has helped? If so, how?
Yeah, sure it has. As I said having someone with the same goals but different experiences is like finding the other leg, which you need to walk. I know that I should tell someone about what I’ve done so it doesn’t’ let me to leave my plans. When you know you should report about it you try to reach the point you had to so that you can report good things! It is like a great back up for both of us I think.
What are the pitfalls of this kind of relationship?
Not being committed maybe. It will take everyone’s time and there won’t be any progress. I experienced it with my 3 first matches.
What advice would you give other buddies who have started to work together to encourage a successful working partnership?
What made us friends was that we were open to talk even about bad feelings or life obstacles in between. I remember one day that I was feeling very bad so I opened up to Michael and talked about what keeps me back sometimes. He was flexible, he listened to me and after he made his point that he understands he made me write my goals again and think about where I want to be in 5 years. I did the same for him when something came up in to his life. As I said I think we are friends now. Sometimes we cease this entire studying thing and we talk about different things such as politics or different cultures that we have, we teach each other things, and getting back to work after that is way easier. It is like a break in between so that you can get back to your schedule more energetic.
Anything else you want to say…just because you can?
I just want to thank you for this great job that you’re doing. How better can someone help people to go for their aims? And I want to thank my buddy, Michael for being so committed and open. If you really want something a little bit of help from outside is always helpful. It is a positive vibe that keeps you going.
Have you found similar supportive relationships? Let us know in the comments below.
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